We have so many interesting ideas about relationships. I find many people don’t even know what a healthy relationship looks like. If we don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like, how can we begin to create a healthy relationship with God?
Many of you would say, “What a dumb question. If we are having a relationship with a Perfect Being of course the relationship will be perfect because He’s perfect!”
This could not be further from the truth. So many people have a fear-based relationship with God. Many people have a relationship with God that is one-sided and there are even those who are in a relationship with God that is abusive. Hear me correctly… God is not the one creating fear in the relationship or holding out on people. Father is NEVER the one causing the relationship to be abusive! But our beliefs about Father and His character cause us to have ideas in our heads about the relationship that are incorrect.
For example, some would say we are to trust God completely. I agree with this. They will add, however, that He will allow or, even worse, put sickness on us to teach us something. Now, here’s the difficulty. If I have a friend who has a contagious disease and that friend decides to give me that disease, in whatever way needed, then tells me to trust them implicitly… we would call that an abusive relationship. Any wise counselor would tell you to lose that friend and do so quickly. Yet we somehow accept when our pastor or Christian friend tells us to trust God even if or when He puts sickness on us. This does not follow His character. Jesus was the EXACT REPLICA of God, y’all. And Jesus NEVER made anyone sick.
So how do we walk in a healthy relationship with Father God? We must be aware of what a healthy relationship looks like. We need to know so that we can create a healthy connection with our Father. Our side needs to be healthy. His side already is. Does that make sense?
Here are 7 things that happen in healthy relationships: (these are straight from google… but I believe they really fit.)
1. You’re better because of the relationship. How many people do I know who profess to be Christians and yet their lives are a disaster and they are miserable people to be around. That’s a problem. You should be better because you are in relationship where you are, and FEEL, loved. People who feel loved and know they are loved are beautiful people to be around!
2. Your fears are reduced.
AMEN! Perfect love casts out fear. Why? Because you know the One who loves you will take care of you no matter what! You can trust Him.
3. There’s a lot of chemistry.
Don’t get weird here. If you feel loved by the Almighty there will be a chemistry of sorts – where you feel connected and bound to Him. He gave His life, I want to give mine. It is a reciprocal desire of connection and admiration. Even in John 3:16 where it says God so loved the world, that word ‘love’ is speaking of value, esteem, and admiration. As in… God admires YOU, values YOU, and holds YOU in high esteem. I don’t know about you but that creates chemistry for me. It connects me to Him in a deep and real way.
4. You’re invested in the relationship.
Is your relationship with Him one-sided – He’s giving to you and you just receive? Or are you invested along with Him?
5. You can see this relationship as different from past relationships.
Hello! Yes! This is so true in our relationship with our Father because He is God. He is not like any human and He never will be!
6. It’s a real partnership.
Do you see yourself in partnership with Him? A place where you are accomplishing things together? If it’s healthy, this will be primary.
7. You have shared goals.
I love this one. I don’t know about you, but Father and I share some goals for sure! We want to give His heart to many. We want others to experience His love for them! We want them to know He is after them in sweet and precious and bold ways.
I’ll stop here. I hope this helps you develop a relationship with Him beyond what you currently have. One of the most important things? Learn about Him – His character, His heart, His goals and dreams. Seek Him out and love connecting with Him.
My best hopes that you and He will grow closer together!