Growing, Forgiveness

Hello Tribe!

I truly hope you all are well today.

Life is a gift, and we are all in one way or another “forced” to grow. Although, we all know people who have NOT grown. Sadly. They have rather just rolled inward like a little armadillo to build armor and block out any and all pain.

I understand the temptation! Don’t you?

BUT the sad reality is when we do that we miss out on beauty – our own beauty.

Side thought: I do not believe God gives us things to make us grow. I do believe we can choose to grow in all times and seasons of our lives. Is it not better to be intentional about growing when the sun is shining, and the water is plentiful? Consider the lilies… they grow, they feed, they bloom. They do this all when the weather is good. We have been told we grow in the hard times, which we can do. But how much better to be focused on growing in the good seasons?! Now, I know in my difficult times I have chosen to work hard – to grow, to not become bitter, to not roll into the armadillo-protection-ball. I have decided not to be a victim, but rather to find what I need to improve. After all the butterfly goes through the cocoon phase and works hard to BECOME. So, no matter the seasons – difficult or beautiful we can choose to grow.

Now then… as I began this letter… I wonder…

How have you grown? What have you done or not done? Have you rolled into a ball to protect yourself or have you decided to reach out and get help and force the growth? Have you opted to seclude yourself? Have you accidentally become a victim? Or have you made intentional choices to stretch and flex those growing muscles?

I know. So many questions here. But these are the things I would ask if you were before me, and we could have a conversation.

I will leave you with this nugget. Forgiveness is the first thing in the order of working through a difficult season with another human. Forgiveness is often misconstrued and added to. Even the dictionary definition is so limited in its scope. Forgiveness is NOT saying what happened was ok, was no big deal, or was right.

Forgiveness is you saying, “I will not be your judge, nor will I be your prosecutor. I will leave the judgment and the payment for the wrong done in the hands of someone bigger than me. I release you so that I can grow, so that I can move forward in life.”

Unforgiveness is you creating your own bondage, your own prison. On the path of growth and wisdom – forgiveness is required. You simply cannot grow beyond your last offense!

Love you all – feel free to email or reach out to let me know your wisdom as well! I’d love to hear from you!

Some Ideas for Growing in Trust

How hard is it to learn to trust?!?

Of course this all depends on who we are trying to trust. For most of us, we have experienced the wounding of betrayal. Many of us have felt the loss of trust in a relationship. It may have been an accidental failure on the part of another or perhaps outright intentional betrayal. Learning how to navigate the heart and not become cynical and hardened to others is an incredible art!

Have you learned this? What do you do? How do you forgive?

It's incredibly important to remember the truth, to recall what has been true of the individual in times past. It is important to know, is the offender one who repeatedly hurts you and shows no remorse? Or have they hurt you but continue to show steps forward and sincere care for your heart? Consider the track record and make your 'going forward' decisions based on that track record.

People often fall into patterns and do not change - this is not cynicism. This is just the simple reality of the way people behave. Am I saying people do not change? No. Yet many do not. Many will not do the hard work of becoming healthier. Many are distracted with the issues of their lives, their families, and their work. Not to mention all the myriad of distractions people engage in. People can and do change IF they want to and if they are continually learning and pursuing growth.

Like with so many things, being hurt and finding ways to restore trust requires an intentional process.

So as you move ahead after being wounded, I have given here a few questions for you to answer:

• Does this person repeatedly hurt me with no remorse?

• Does this person have growth as a signifier in their life journey?

• Have I seen trust be a valuable thing in my relationship with this person? (In other words, have they proven, in times past, their trustworthiness? Or do I seem to consistently experience trust being broken with this person?)

• What is true, about me... about them... ?

• Have I proven to be trustworthy? Am I reaping the fruit of what I have sown?

• What does God say in this exact situation?

• What will my steps be going forward? Do I find a healthy way to respond and simultaneously let the closeness of the relationship become more shallow or do I need to walk away completely? (Can I just say... the need to walk away completely is VERY RARE! Unless there is real abuse taking place)

• Can I, and will I forgive? (Understanding the consequences and harm to myself if I choose not to forgive)

• How will I forgive?

• What do I really need to say to this person? (It is important to express when you have been hurt. It is not to take revenge or to somehow make them pay. They need to know so they also can choose what they will do going forward, and how they will respond to you in the moment)

• How will I talk to this person? What tone, what things need said and what things can I just let lie?

Work it through, dear soul. Let your heart lead you. Learn the art.

Be intentional about walking in love!!! No matter what, no matter how hard, be willing to be the stronger! It will serve you well. And refuse to become cynical! I know, none of this is easy. All of it is important. You are loved, so you can love.

And reach out if you need to!

Constant life, that was and always is.

Hello my friends,

It's official! Spring is here again.

For many of you in a mild climate this may seem like no big thing. For me, who lives in the wild, up and down, winter of Colorado, spring is the sign for life! We see our brown grass turning to green - and that is if the snow isn't covering the ground. We begin to see trees budding, flowers showing signs of coming back to life, etc.

Truly, the new season of colors begins. It is as if the springtime reminds us of the constant life that was, and always is, alive inside even when it seems dead on the outside. Spring symbolizes the hope we always have even when it seems dark and hidden.

I love the new life that shows up!

We are not dead. We are full of life.

Do you not KNOW?! The Spirit of the Living God is on the inside of you, giving life to your mortal body, bringing hope to your darkened soul, and adding beauty to your heart. He is filling you with a resurgence of grace and abundance. He is adding greenery to what has been brown and seemingly dead. You are not alone, dead, or without life. It is a new, full season! And it is here for you... just as you are. No matter how brown, or covered in ice, or hard the soil may be. Green life, fresh and new, is springing forth for you from the Spirit of God in you!

Trust and hope and spend time with Jesus to see that growth begin again.

Be sure and steady Friend. This is the season of new life! Spring is here!

Beyond beautiful, this is you.

Sincere love and hope for you in this new springtime!

Saundra