Some Ideas for Growing in Trust

How hard is it to learn to trust?!?

Of course this all depends on who we are trying to trust. For most of us, we have experienced the wounding of betrayal. Many of us have felt the loss of trust in a relationship. It may have been an accidental failure on the part of another or perhaps outright intentional betrayal. Learning how to navigate the heart and not become cynical and hardened to others is an incredible art!

Have you learned this? What do you do? How do you forgive?

It's incredibly important to remember the truth, to recall what has been true of the individual in times past. It is important to know, is the offender one who repeatedly hurts you and shows no remorse? Or have they hurt you but continue to show steps forward and sincere care for your heart? Consider the track record and make your 'going forward' decisions based on that track record.

People often fall into patterns and do not change - this is not cynicism. This is just the simple reality of the way people behave. Am I saying people do not change? No. Yet many do not. Many will not do the hard work of becoming healthier. Many are distracted with the issues of their lives, their families, and their work. Not to mention all the myriad of distractions people engage in. People can and do change IF they want to and if they are continually learning and pursuing growth.

Like with so many things, being hurt and finding ways to restore trust requires an intentional process.

So as you move ahead after being wounded, I have given here a few questions for you to answer:

• Does this person repeatedly hurt me with no remorse?

• Does this person have growth as a signifier in their life journey?

• Have I seen trust be a valuable thing in my relationship with this person? (In other words, have they proven, in times past, their trustworthiness? Or do I seem to consistently experience trust being broken with this person?)

• What is true, about me... about them... ?

• Have I proven to be trustworthy? Am I reaping the fruit of what I have sown?

• What does God say in this exact situation?

• What will my steps be going forward? Do I find a healthy way to respond and simultaneously let the closeness of the relationship become more shallow or do I need to walk away completely? (Can I just say... the need to walk away completely is VERY RARE! Unless there is real abuse taking place)

• Can I, and will I forgive? (Understanding the consequences and harm to myself if I choose not to forgive)

• How will I forgive?

• What do I really need to say to this person? (It is important to express when you have been hurt. It is not to take revenge or to somehow make them pay. They need to know so they also can choose what they will do going forward, and how they will respond to you in the moment)

• How will I talk to this person? What tone, what things need said and what things can I just let lie?

Work it through, dear soul. Let your heart lead you. Learn the art.

Be intentional about walking in love!!! No matter what, no matter how hard, be willing to be the stronger! It will serve you well. And refuse to become cynical! I know, none of this is easy. All of it is important. You are loved, so you can love.

And reach out if you need to!

Constant life, that was and always is.

Hello my friends,

It's official! Spring is here again.

For many of you in a mild climate this may seem like no big thing. For me, who lives in the wild, up and down, winter of Colorado, spring is the sign for life! We see our brown grass turning to green - and that is if the snow isn't covering the ground. We begin to see trees budding, flowers showing signs of coming back to life, etc.

Truly, the new season of colors begins. It is as if the springtime reminds us of the constant life that was, and always is, alive inside even when it seems dead on the outside. Spring symbolizes the hope we always have even when it seems dark and hidden.

I love the new life that shows up!

We are not dead. We are full of life.

Do you not KNOW?! The Spirit of the Living God is on the inside of you, giving life to your mortal body, bringing hope to your darkened soul, and adding beauty to your heart. He is filling you with a resurgence of grace and abundance. He is adding greenery to what has been brown and seemingly dead. You are not alone, dead, or without life. It is a new, full season! And it is here for you... just as you are. No matter how brown, or covered in ice, or hard the soil may be. Green life, fresh and new, is springing forth for you from the Spirit of God in you!

Trust and hope and spend time with Jesus to see that growth begin again.

Be sure and steady Friend. This is the season of new life! Spring is here!

Beyond beautiful, this is you.

Sincere love and hope for you in this new springtime!

Saundra

We Fail

Hello again my friends!

Every month when I write this blog, I wonder what it is you are going through. I wonder how your life is and what are the things that will most impact your heart. I want to bring encouragement and hope, love and peace, joy and trust. These are all big words that matter to our lives in so many ways.

This being the month of love I decided to write about that a bit. All of us want it. All of us literally need it. Not one person can live a good life without its’ presence with them. We are made for LOVE. In my darkest moments throughout my life, my deep heart cry has been to love well and to be loved. I think most of us have had moments of loneliness and desire to be ‘better loved’. From talking to clients and people over a span of many years now the hunger I have found to be consistent is that of hunger to be loved.

The desire for being loved and having someone to love is natural.

We are all created for this. Most of us are trying to fulfill that with humans. Most of us are failing at that. Failing at fulfilling ourselves in our desperation to be loved. Failing to find “the one” who will love us the way we want and need to be loved. So, if we were created to be loved and we are failing at being loved, what’s the problem and how do we “fix” it?

Prepare yourself.

Jesus is the answer. Smile. I know you know this. I also know most of you are annoyed as you read this – likewise – I am annoyed as I write this. Heehee. I can feel you rolling your eyes. I can hear your attitudes. And no condemnation because I have the same ones. But the truth is we simply cannot be fulfilled by another human. It just doesn’t work. Why? Because humans fail. We cannot love as well as we should and we miss it. We say mean things, we lose our temper, we fail to see what the person we truly care about needs. We fail.

God however – our Father, Creator – never fails. He doesn’t just say He loves us, He truly – madly – deeply loves us. Jesus gave His life – our Friend and Brother – showed us His love for us. He PROVED His love. Not only that, He proves even now that He can and does love us exactly the way we want and need to be loved.

You may be saying, “Well then why don’t I feel it?” Here’s the reality: You can put yourself in a place of quietness and peace where you can feel it. You can draw so close and so near that you FEEL and EXPERIENCE His love in a real way.

If you have not I want to invite you to try it.

Find a meditation, a place, your favorite nature spot and just sit. Invite Him to love you and then imagine yourself “on a date” with Him – imagine your heart being deeply touched and impacted – imagine Him holding you, counseling you, whatever feels like love to you…. My friend, He will come through for you because YOU were MADE for LOVE! (For further help or advice feel free to reach out. I’m just an email away).

Happy FEBRUARY – go ahead – be loved. He will never fail you.